Dear You:

Dear McDonalds,

I’m not sure if you realize how clutch it was when you brought back the 4-piece McNugget for $1.  It really cements your title of Best Dollar Menu!  I’m a student who can’t cook—you saved my life!!  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know people have been on your shit about the healthiness of your food in recent years.  I appreciate you throwing apples and yogurt and shit on the menu…

But C’mon…

You think I’m rolling out of McDonalds with a box of motherfuckin apples???  When McNuggets are a DOLLAR!!!

Not likely…

Back in the day, the McNuggets were always that baller shit.  They weren’t on the dollar menu, so you had to get the value meal if you wanted them (McDonalds made sure it wasn’t economical to just buy the McNuggets alone—a clever move to be sure).  I can remember gettin hot at everybody who ordered that value meal while I stood there with $3 and a lent ball in my pocket!  But those days are over!!  I’m back in the game bitch!!

Yours in truth,

The Postman

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Dear Girl With The Nice Smile At The McDonalds Drive-Thru,

If you ever forget my sweet and sour sauce like that again…I’ll drop kick you right out that little window.

Yours in truth,

The Postman