Dear You:

Note: Seymour Monet is a staff writer at the NEWLY REDESIGNED TruthMerchants.com

Dear new J.P. Looney’s

I’ve heard the term “velvety goodness” in a candy bar commercial or some shit before–I’m sure of it.  But when you introduced me to your “$2 Tuesdays” with Newcastle and Blue Moon on tap I experienced it for the first time. I’m not sure exactly how to thank you.  This letter does not seem appreciative enough.   Maybe the 10 beers I drank will make up for it.

P.S.  Your bartender was pretty good considering he was working the bar by himself.  But he was a “he”.  Get some chicks in here OK?  I mean, how can it be heaven without a chick behind the bar?

Inebriatedly yours,

Seymour Monet

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