Dear Usain “lightning” Bolt,

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Aug 20 2008

Published by The Postman at 8:56 am under Dear You Edit This

Note: Seymour Monet is a staff writer for TruthMerchants.com

Dear Usain “lightning” Bolt,

As happy as I am for your newfound fame and amazing accomplishments, I have to call shenanigans here. You sir, can not be real. Alien? Robot? I’m not exactly sure yet. I am sure, however, that 9.69s is impossible for mere mortals. I desperately wanted you to run by somebody standing still so I could see them spin around in a cloud of dust!

With all that being said, Cyborg or Black Vulcan or whoever you are, thank you for the fastest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!

P.S. If by some odd chance you are human. Can you come play for the Panthers? Please?