Dear You:

Tobias Hustleman is a staff writer for TruthMerchants.com

Dear you,

Some may think I have a fetish for feet and I do check them out. I wouldn’t have checked yours out had I not thought you had borrowed someone else’s feet. It’s perfectly o.k. to be in a rush to get to the airport and not have the time to properly moisturize, but you can’t cruise around the airport with the back of your heels looking like you’re wearing bags of flour for flip flops. It literally looks like you stole some white woman’s feet and slipped them on for comfort.

My boys are ashy right now, but I’m in my house. You were in Phoenix kicking up talc storms. Correct that.

Angrily armed with Vaseline Intensive Care,

T. Hustle.