Dear You:

Dear Joaquin Phoenix,

Please don’t rap!  Seriously.  Look at me!  PLEASE. STOP. THIS.  I always thought you were a good actor — I really liked Gladiator and We Own The Night, especially.  So when I heard you were “retiring” from acting …I was a bit perplexed.  When I heard you were doing so to become a rapper…I thought you were kidding.  Then when I heard you’ve got Casey Affleck shooting this entire debacle to later make a documentary… well then I didn’t have a thought…just a stupid look on my face.

Then came the footage:

Now I can’t make out what you’re saying here — so let me start by saying “thank you” for that.  but then the video of you falling off of the stage emerged…

This just has to stop.  You were a respected actor with (I’m assuming) plenty of money.  I’m never one to tell a person not to follow their bliss…but can you at least practice in the mirror first??

After all there’s a difference between following your bliss and jumping around like an idiot on stage.

Thanks for your time,

Preston