Dear You:

Dear Proud Parent of a Poo,

Yes, the log you left in the toilet for me to bear witness to was magnificent, and the fine brown spray on the back of the toilet the week before was equally impressive. Please realize though, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and your artful creations in the restroom, some topped with flowing layers of used toilet paper are not as beautiful to some (all) as they are to you. A few ideas for the future:

-More than one flush, if chain broken, lift lid, and manually flush toilet — Don’t worry, it’s clean, and if not, it’s still probably cleaner than your hands.

-Wipe down the toilet. I would say pretend it’s your bum, but since I can’t vouch for your skills in cleaning that area either, just try your best.

With time and practice, you too can leave the restroom in a semi-presentable state.

Sincerely,

A user of common sense