Dear You:

Note: Preston Swagger is the webmaster and a staff writer for TruthMerchants.com . He’s also my boss and thinks he’s hot shit.

Well Postman — thank you for that warm introduction.  Hey you know what’s fun?!  Firing ungrateful interns!

Getting Tagged:

Alright, I’m gonna try not to fuck this up.

1.I’ve gotta link back to the person who tagged me—who in this case is my lovely twin sister Ms. Haute in LA.
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

I take it back…this seems eerily like work!!  But I think I can handle it…ok…on to 6 unspectacular quirks about me.

1. I will not use off brand ketchup, syrup, or cereal.  Anything else is fine.  But you’d better have Aunt Jemima/Mrs. Butterworth (Log Cabin is ok in a pinch…but I’ll probably give you a dirty look), Heinz Ketchup, and real Frosted Flakes (not “Sweetie Puffs” or some shit).  I don’t know what it is. I’m not name-brand obsessed about ANYTHING except those 3 things.  I care more about my brand of ketchup than I do my brand of clothes! (not really…but it’s a closer race than it should be)

2. I hate coming out of the shower with wet feet and stepping on anything other than a bath rug.  Everything else feels weird to me with damp feet.  I have absolutely no rational explanation for this…

3. I always sleep on the left side of the bed.  Some people like to sleep on the side closest to the door or the window or whatever.  None of that matters to me.  Just give me the left side. At the risk of sounding redundant…I have absolutely no rational explanation for this…

4. I’m oddly ambidextrous. I shoot pool with my left hand and I box in a “South Paw” stance. Yet my right hand is stronger and I throw and dribble with my right hand.  And of course I write with my right hand with the oddest left-handed “hook” you’ve ever seen.

5.  I can’t watch ANYTHING I’ve never seen from the middle.  If I’m mildly interested in it….and it started 10 minutes ago…I’m walking right back out of the room.

6.  When I walk into my house with take-out and I plop down in front of the TV……I won’t start eating until I’ve found something I want to watch.  Not a bite…not a french fry…nothing!  You’d think that I’ve had enough experience with remote controls in my life, that I could figure out how to manage doing both at the same time.  Sadly though…such is not the case.

This was a cool little tag.  It shows how we’re really all just a bunch of weirdos.  That’s oddly refreshing to me.  Now I’m going back to Ms. Haute’s place to read about the 5 other loons she tagged.  I promise I’ll update this post to include the 6 people I tag (I just can’t think of who they’ll be right off the top of my head).

Yours in inexplicable oddity,

Preston Swagger